Something is deeply wrong. And we all feel it.
We’re being sold a lie wrapped in the illusion of empowerment, disguised as self-improvement, and fed to us under the guise of doing what makes you happy. But what if our happiness was never the goal? What if we are being conditioned to hate ourselves, to obsess over every perceived flaw, to believe that we are never enough, so that we stay stuck in a cycle of self-rejection and self-modification, forever chasing an illusion we were never meant to reach?
This isn’t just a beauty standard problem. It’s a mental health crisis.
And I say this as someone who battles it daily.
Living in the Age of Dysmorphia:
I struggle with body dysmorphia. I always have. Some days, I see myself clearly. Other days, my mind distorts my reflection into something unrecognizable, picking apart my face, my body, my very existence. And then I open my phone, and the algorithm knows exactly how to hit me where it hurts.
Tiny waists and impossible curves being sold as the result of “hard work.” AI-generated filters making faces look so smooth and symmetrical that real human skin starts to feel wrong. The same surgically sculpted features being passed off as natural beauty, while women are gaslit into believing they just aren’t trying hard enough.
Nothing is real anymore. And yet, we compare ourselves to these digital fantasies as if they are.
How are we supposed to love ourselves when the world keeps moving the goalpost? When beauty is no longer just a privilege of youth but a performance, a never-ending chase to keep up with the next trend, the next tweak, the next fix?
My Own Obsession with 'Fixing' Myself:
I’m not speaking from the outside looking in. I’ve been in it.
In my early thirties, I became obsessed with Botox and filler. It started with something small, just a little tweak to smooth things out. But once you start, it’s never enough. The more I did, the more I saw things that needed “fixing.” I was chasing perfection one syringe at a time.
Until I got botched.
When I look back at the time period of my life, I almost feel like it was divine intervention trying to knock some sense into me. I had become absolutely obsessed with becoming this “perfect” version of myself that I believe something drastic had to happen to make me stop.
It's taken a lot of inner work to learn to love myself, learn to love this post-botched version of myself, wondering if I never started injecting myself with fillers and botox in my late twenties and early thirties, would I recognize my face in the mirror? What I've realized through a deep inner journey is that this culture of constant self-modification is dangerous. I learned the hard way that there is no finish line, just an endless loop of dissatisfaction, regret, and desperation. I try not to dwell on it, there’s more important things in life than putting so much energy into superficial pursuits.
If We Are Made in God's Image, What Are We Doing?
I don’t say this from a place of judgment, I say it from a place of deep, painful awareness. Because I, too, have stared at my reflection and thought, Maybe I should just fix this one thing, one more time.
I’ve wrestled with the contradiction of wanting to love myself but also wanting to change myself. I’ve felt the pull, the temptation, the voice whispering, You could look better. And if I had unlimited resources, would I be sitting in a doctor’s office asking for a little tweak here and there?
Maybe.
And that’s what terrifies me.
Because when did this become normal? When did self-acceptance become the radical choice, while altering ourselves became the default?
If we are made in God’s image, if we were created with intention, with purpose, with divine precision, then what does it say about us that we are so desperate to erase every trace of our own humanity?
This is deeper than aesthetics. This is soul work. Deep, deep, soul work.
Real Self-Love is Shadow Work:
Self-love isn’t found in a syringe or a scalpel. It isn’t found in a smaller nose, a bigger butt, or a perfectly symmetrical face.
Real self-love is shadow work. It’s standing in front of the mirror and facing everything we don’t want to look at; the lines, the textures, the imperfections, the wounds. It’s holding space for the parts of ourselves that feel unworthy, unlovable, not enough. And then choosing to love ourselves right there.
Not when we lose the weight. Not when we “fix” what’s wrong. Right now.
But that kind of love is hard. And in a world that profits off our insecurities, it’s also rebellious.
The Truth No One Wants to Say:
I am not here to tell anyone what to do with their body. I don’t judge women who get procedures, I understand them.
What I do judge is the culture that has made it nearly impossible for us to exist without feeling like we need them. The culture that tells women that their bodies are projects to be worked on, that aging is a disease to be cured, that they must conform to an ever-changing, digitally fabricated beauty standard just to be considered worthy.
The culture that tells little girls that their faces aren’t good enough before they even get a chance to grow into them.
And the worst part? We’ve accepted this as normal.
We are altering the way we look because of images that aren’t even real. Let that sink in.
What If We Chose Ourselves?
I don’t have all the answers. I am still unlearning. Still healing. Still fighting the voice in my head that tells me I could be better.
But I know this:
Every time I choose to see myself with love instead of criticism, I feel freer. Every time I resist the urge to pick myself apart, I reclaim my power. Every time I choose me exactly as I am, I remember what real beauty is.
And that’s the message I want every woman to hear.
We were never meant to be perfect.
We were meant to be us.
And what I'm learning everyday is that when I look at myself through the eyes of god, the way god sees me, I see beauty, because I see my soul reflected back to me in the mirror. I see a woman who's growing older, and hear the voice of a wounded little girl trying to hold onto her youth in fear of aging, because somewhere along the way, she was programmed to believe that's where her value lies. I meet that little girl in the mirror everyday with love and grace, I remind her that we will never live up to the standards of the human ego, but as long as we can meet ourself at soul, we are infinitely, and eternally beautiful.
If you take anything away from this message today, take this. I am walking alongside this journey with you. I don't have it figured out, but every day I meet my soul in the mirror, and everyday my soul reminds me that my beauty has absolutely nothing to do with what I look like. So next time you find yourself picking yourself apart, sit in front of the mirror and meet your soul so she can remind you that you're perfect just the way you are. Take a moment to see yourself not from the eyes of the ego, but through the eyes of god. Make it a practice, make it a habit, make it a lifestyle.
In case no one's told you today, you're beautiful. And it's not because of how you're wearing your hair, or your make-up, or your clothes, it's because your soul is beautiful, Queen.
With Love,
Saddaf- Founder & Artisan of Sacred Adornments